Ladies! Maybe you can help me out here?
Keeping in mind that meeting strangers of the opposite sex in a nightclub or bar isn’t the best place to find the love of your life, why do you females insist on NEVER making the first move? Why do us blokes have to stick our necks time after time, approach a girl, think of something amusing to say and wait to see if we’re going to be shot down in flames- sometimes in the most humiliating way? Even when a girl makes it perfectly obvious that she thinks a guys cute she’ll stay where she is and expect the man to try to kick off a conversation and then get pissed off when he doesn’t!
According to my trusty netowork, apparently more and more girls are taking the iniative and chatting up blokes. But lets be honest, you’re talking about a tiny percentage, bascially negligible.
I don’t know if you girls realise it, but it takes a lot of courage to go up a girl and risk being knocked back, especially if you’ve only had one or two beers and aren’t slurring your words and spitting all over her face. It also appears that quite a few women these days have mastered the art of barring guys by being exceptionally rude, humiliating and condescending. Okay, I understand its a defence mechanism against drunk, disgusting males who won’t take no for an answer. However, I know plenty of guys who aren’t like that and yet they still seem to face a lack of common manners.
I just want to let girls know that most blokes think it’s really cool when the female sex chats them up, so its about time that females stepped up to the plate and show a bit more courage. Also ( and this is directed at the minority of women – you know who you are! ), being a complete bitch to just about every guy that tries to ask you your name isn’t the way to be in my opinion. A polite but firm refusal works just fine.
January 10, 2008 at 1:44 am
This really is a he says, she says discussion isn’t it.
I hear this complaint from both sides all the time.
Fragile egos and fear of rejection being the main encumbrance
(disinterest also plays a part).
It’s a leap of faith, I say take it and if it doesn’t work you didn’t have to fall too far (that goes for both men & women)!
January 15, 2008 at 10:25 am
yeah but … whilst guys might think its cool to be chatted up by a chick – does that mean they would consider that person seriously for more than just flirting or sex? Know anyone who started a meaningful relationship that way?? I’m open – just checking.
January 15, 2008 at 10:28 am
You know most guys I know tell stories about how girls made the first move on them – but the girls remember the story differently. Isn’t it all an ego equation at the end of the day? People perceive AND remember a scenario the way they want to no matter what transpires in these sorts of situations, A guy can think a girl is flirting when she’s just being friendly … a girl could think a guy is trying to pick her up when he’s just being chatty.
January 15, 2008 at 12:36 pm
I agree with you Panda, take a punt and give it a go.
I think meeting strangers in bars works best when its starts out friendly and chatting and develops from there rather than a straight out pick up line!
January 21, 2008 at 12:24 am
This topic seems to come up more often. I heard it on morning radio recently and I was suprised about how many women rang in and told how they had made the first move on their now husbands/ boyfriends at bars and clubs.
This could lead to another question Does this mean that we will see more ladies proposing to men ?
February 19, 2008 at 10:21 am
I have no difficulty approaching men or asking them out on a first date, however I wouldn’t recommend it.
As you mentioned, men LOVE IT when women make the first move as it takes the pressure off them, makes them feel like a stud and gives them bragging rights with their mates.
Unfortunately, once the flush of “stud-dom” subsides, most men will doubt the value of the approach and lose interest in the woman, discounting her as “desperate”. As Groucho Marx said, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” Men would rather “compete for the prize”, than be “given the membership”, so the Neanderthal method of courtship prevails.