A girlfriend of mine is currently undergoing a two month state of sobriety. She feels that Christmas and New Year, combined with some less than favourable outcomes with potential partners, made for a personal intervention. She has done amazingly well considering she is an absolute trash bag and admits that her self confidence and ability to engage men becomes exponential after consuming two bottles of white. To her credit, she is still coming to pubs, still going on dates and going to all the music festivals happening during the two month period.
This has made for an extremely interesting social experiment. To me, it seems absolutely abhorrent and alien, and I have no desire to torment myself with an alcohol-free two months. However some quite startling results have come to light. Despite her obvious clear skin, clear eyes, trim hips and overall improved well being, my friend, who for reasons on anonymity will be called Sharon, has become a very useful observer and informant.
She is dating a man she met at a pub while sober. Despite his tipsy efforts she gave him her number. She will only agree to Art galleries, festival events, restaurants or coffee, as she quite simply can’t go to a bar, or a pub. And the result?
He is totally into her.
I mean totally. Could this be because of the unmentionable? Is he into her because she is not calling him in a drunken stupor on Friday night? Is it because she is simply being herself, not an alter-ego drunkard – and is offering more to this man? Maybe this is something that is worth thinking about.
As Charlie discussed earlier, seedy bars are not conducive to meeting your ideal partner. Yet that seems to be the most common avenue until Meet My Friend came into existence – still, it is now a popular first meeting place for frst meetings.
Sharon’s sobriety has also made her some notable finds. She is not waking up on Sunday thinking, “Shit, what did I do?” “Did I call him?” “Was I an idiot?” Quite the opposite, she wakes up, goes to the gym, feels amazing and can sit pretty that she did not sabotage anything with anyone.
Maybe us drinkers, who think ‘wine maketh the man’ is not really the reality of the situation at all. Maybe we should try art galleries, try daytime activities, and say no to pubs. Not for two months, but maybe for that first date.
It can’t hurt right? Wow, I need a drink after that.
Tags: dating, love, relationships, she says
