A fresh, sober approach?

A girlfriend of mine is currently undergoing a two month state of sobriety. She feels that Christmas and New Year, combined with some less than favourable outcomes with potential partners, made for a personal intervention. She has done amazingly well considering she is an absolute trash bag and admits that her self confidence and ability to engage men becomes exponential after consuming two bottles of white. To her credit, she is still coming to pubs, still going on dates and going to all the music festivals happening during the two month period.

This has made for an extremely interesting social experiment. To me, it seems absolutely abhorrent and alien, and I have no desire to torment myself with an alcohol-free two months. However some quite startling results have come to light.  Despite her obvious clear skin, clear eyes, trim hips and overall improved well being, my friend, who for reasons on anonymity will be called Sharon, has become a very useful observer and informant.

The city vs country boy dilemma

Here I am in the country (with the internet thank god) having a bit of Christmas nostalgia.

Christmas is a tough for one for me and my family. My family can’t understand why I am single, and what’s worse is they can’t fathom my disinterest in moving to the back of North Queensland and marrying the millionaire farmer.  So this pressure has got me thinking – Could this actually be an option?

I thought I would be a little lonely this year as I have not had a single Christmas for some time, however on the contrary it’s been brilliant. Suddenly unknown country talent is making itself known to me whereas previously the country lads were not really on my radar. Country boys have a certain sexual ruggedness. I love my fellow Sydney man, however the men up here are a totally different breed. Admittedly there has been some communication breakdown as they obviously haven’t been told it’s a fashion crime to still wear High School football jerseys to the pub, however the nice thing is these boys just don’t give a shit. Sydney men seem to be so preoccupied, they are concerned with such minor and insignificant things that it is refreshing to chat these country boys.

Would you call a girl if she ‘put out’ on the first date?

Charlie I think that you are spot on with your previous response about the two-to three day window before calling after your first date. I rarely appreciate a call back the next day in the general sense. However, ironically, if you happen to ‘sleep over’ after that fateful night you previously described in a bar, then women really crave some contact. Perhaps this is mainly to dispel the worry we have that it was just all about the booty call, and they are not ‘into’ us – perhaps it’s because we are a bit emotionally committed.

Thus, girls the age old rule, you can’t put out. You just can’t.

I have been in this position. You agonize, watching the phone, try tuning it off; even calling it to make sure it is still working. And still it doesn’t ring… Conversely I have also had long term partners whom I slept with on the first date.

Answer this for me Chucky, would you call a girl back if she put out on the first date?

The aforementioned question receives a great deal of discussion from my girlfriends.

A matter of interest

I believe that the probability of a guy calling you boils down to a matter of interest. If  he really likes you (preferably one you haven’t met in a nightclub or pub) he’ll generally call when he says he will. If he doesn’t, then it’s a pretty good measurement of how interested he is. As Greg Behrendt’s book goes… maybe He’s Just Not That Into You?

Secondly, I’m of the belief that meeting the opposite sex in a bar spells trouble, because you’re usually dealing with someone on the hunt for a shag

We are just as baffled as you.

We are just as baffled as you.

I know Charlie, easy for me to say, as I sit here with a uterus, but although I understand your quandary, it is very much the same argument for women. What do you want?!

Between a rock and a hard place…

After having numerous conversations with male friends and listening into female discussions about what makes a man attractive, something occurred to me.

The male species is caught between a rock and a very hard place.

Not so long ago, the role of the man and woman was clearly defined. The guy was the bread winner and the woman looked after the household. Thankfully the world is now a place where a woman has the opportunity to earn as much as, or far more than a man. The days are gone of needing a man to support her. Now, while I personally find career minded women very attractive, it has left guys asking some questions…

Do women no longer need us and what makes a man a man?

Meet Charlie

Argh the dating game!

I’ve certainly had my share of ups and downs. Possibly more downs than ups but who’s counting anyway? I’ve had some pretty intense relationships along the way but nothing that’s lasted more than two-and-a-half years and generally with girls who live in far off countries. You kind of make things hard for yourself when you fall in love with a Norwegian who wants to stay in Norway while you desperately want to come back to the white sandy beaches of Australia! And long distance relationships. You can forget them! Absence may make the heart grow fonder but if you can’t reach out and physically touch someone, well, what’s the point?

So, what do I look for in a woman? I suppose I’d be a bold face liar if I said that physical attraction doesn’t count for anything. I’m not out searching for a super model but I do like a woman who takes care of herself. I am extremely attracted to independent, career-minded women who have their own goals and ambitions. However, over and above everything I love girls that smile all the time and have a kind heart. These two things for me are really powerful aphrodisiacs.

I’ve spent the last nine years overseas and I must admit that it’s tougher than I thought it would be to meet girls in Sydney. I’m starting to get pretty sick and tired of meeting or trying to meet women in pubs and nightclubs. It’s just too impersonal and in my experience it has never led anything meaningful. Not just that but you set yourself up for some positively brutal knock backs.

So, that then begs the question, where does one meet girls if you’re a single guy?